Can't help it

Do you do something that you cant help but do and no one likes it.

apparently when I get mad I "whine" says my boyfriend. What really ticks me off is that he says I sound like my mother. Not a big fan of that. I never ever ever want to be like my mom.

I also bite my nails. Its weird because I never notice that I'm doing it but other people do. I hate doing it because it makes my fingers sore. I know that sound horrible but its such a bad habit that I cant stop. Doubt i will ever.

Have you ever had someone comment to you that you breathe loudly? Yeah i have and let me tell you...you think about it right in the middle of class. Right when its quiet and BAM! all you can think about is how you breathe and then it gets hard to breathe. I'm probably the only one who does this crazy thing but trust me its weird.

enough rambling on...i just started this whole blog thing and so far its not so bad. I doubt anyone will ever read this or leave comments but its a good way to just write what you are thinking before you go to bed. some nights it will be something emotional with meaning to me. Or some nights it will just be a bit of jibber jabber.

well night world.
mmk

ohh and p.s. if there is someone reading this...excuse my spelling and my grammar and everthing else that you would learn in english class...not good at it and was lucky to pass my english classes in grade school and college. thank god they are all over with =)

Dear God

dear god,

will you give me a sign and tell me if what I'm doing with my life is what I should be doing?

will you give me a sign and tell me if the man I'm with is the man i should marry and have kids with?

will you give me a sign and tell me if i will ever move out of my parents house?

will you give me a sign and tell me if i will be healthy for the rest of my life? cancer? tumor? illness?

will you give me a sign and tell me if my loving grandma is OK? I miss her and I hope she is being loved like how she loved us.

will you give me a sign and tell if that I'm being a good christian? I don't go to church anymore but I think about you a lot god and i hope that is OK.

will you give me a sign and tell me that i can stop worrying and that everything will work out in the end? 

will you give me a sign and tell me that i can go to sleep at night not thinking about what i have said and done and if anyone was or is upset me with? 

will you give me a sign and tell me what i need to do to make a small difference in my life? 

god, i need hope back in my life and i need a sign to tell me I am OK. 

love,

mmk